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God is our Refuge in Grief

For God alone, O my soul, wait in silence, for my hope is from him. He only is my rock and my salvation, my fortress; I shall not be shaken. On God rests my salvation and my glory; my mighty rock, my refuge is God. Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your heart before him; God is a refuge for us. Psalm 62:5-8

We live in very unsettled times trying to navigate our way through the coronavirus. This will affect all of us in many different ways from social distancing, to school closings, working from home, to reduced wages, or loss of jobs.

Social distancing has a different meaning for me as my sister recently lost her battle with cancer. Things that we take for granted in terms of setting up a funeral service are now different. Not all of my sisters were able to attend as some states were already closing their borders. We learned of resistance to a small service by a community member who was responding out of fear. During our funeral service, all of the seats were placed at least six feet apart. This resulted in me feeling like an island of grief when all I wanted was to hold someone’s hand or give and receive hugs.

The next day, we buried her three hours away in the cemetery where our parents were buried. Afterwards, there was no family home to retreat to have a meal together. There were no restaurants open to enjoy each other’s company. But Chick-fil-A had their drive-up open and there was a large parking lot close by that was only sparsely used. We ate together in a cold and windy parking lot, told stories, and enjoyed the comfort of family for a short while. This was a treasure for my heart.

Other people will not be able to experience even what we were able to do as the virus spreads and even more actions are taken to halt the spread of this disease. We will need to be creative in reaching out to those who are grieving in order to show that we care and to show through us that God cares.

Waiting in silence before God has calmed my soul as I understand that he already knows my needs. I can pour out my heart to Him knowing that He is big enough to handle all of my concerns and sorrows. This reaffirms to me that I trust Him. He is my rock, my refuge.