Women’s Ministry Minute
May 13, 2020
With Nicky Miller
“Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything” James 1:2-4. This scripture is pretty near to my heart. Its words I held close during one of the darkest times of my life.
About three years ago, I had a severe chainsaw accident resulting in a tree falling on me. Physically my body suffered nine fractures and so for about a month I lived in a trauma unit in a hospital. Those days were extremely hard both physically and mentally. I’m not sure how I got to this scripture, they wereare also hazy, but I’m so GRATEFUL that I did.
At first, consider it pure joy was not something I wanted to do at all, nor did I even understand how to do so. However, one word kept leaping out to me: perseverance. I knew that’s what had to be done both physically and spiritually. In the darkest moments that’s what I could hold on to. In the brighter ones, I was excited to continue becoming mature and complete in Christ. It was humbling I was even given the option to try because my life was spared not once, but twice. The first time I was saved was when I was baptized and now physically from the tree. However, I was still finding it hard to consider this trial PURE joy.
One day some kind soul sent me a daily blessing book in the hospital. At the end of almost every day, my dad would sit down at my bedside and ask me what blessings I could find thatday. The picture above shows some of my most cherished blessings, my family by my side. To be honest, some days it was hard to find one. Yet, others we couldn’t fit it on the space they gave me for that day. Was it that there weren’t blessings on the other days? No, but those days were my weak days, days I noticed the bad more than the good. One thing that experience taught me was that God is always working out good even through the most dismal of times. It also taught me an extreme amount about gratitude. I’m not sure how my attitude would have been had we not stopped to consider all of the blessings to be grateful for when the things to be ungrateful for were so glaringly forced in my face. I saw just how important it is to be grateful for what God gives us and how that can help beat the negative thoughts that can plague us.
Fast forward to now, I’m physically a lot better although I have my pain days. Mentally I’m struggling from some PTSD symptoms which have been triggered during this recent pandemic. I’ve found myself going back to the scriptures I held close during that time. Such as the one above and 2 Corinthians 4: 8-10 “We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body.” One last one that brings me great comfort is Psalms 94:18-19, “When I said, “My foot is slipping,” your unfailing love, Lord, supported me. When anxiety was great within me, your consolation bought me joy.”
This current situation we find ourselves in is scary, uncontrollable, a surprise, and bringing up a lot of unknowns. For me there are a lot of similarities with that time in my life. Recently, I saw myself plummeting into a depression and dealing with heightened anxiety. Unable to pull myself out God used an amazingly beautiful sister, Laura Brooks, reminding me about gratitude. I started fighting the negativity with being grateful for the silver linings we can find right now. The beauty that emerges from humanity and the good God is working even through the bad.
Can I channel that every moment of everyday? Of course not, I’m a sinful human being and I have my victories and defeats just like everyone else. God is also showing me a lot about grace right now. Not only having it with others, but even with myself. The shame, guilt, and fear I’ve found myself in lately crippled me into inactivity. Understanding God’s grace more and being grateful that they are new every morning is helping me to break free of that place the devil wants me to stay in. I will also say that God helped me to put aside my pride and shame to accept that I needed to take some medicine for my current mental health. Having grace with myself and where I am and knowing that God meets me here with love, and that I will not stay in this place forever. It helped move me to movement again.
Hopefully God uses my story to help you in some way find peace, grace, and the blessings that our heavenly Father gives us abundantly. Just for the record, I don’t think I’m spiritually mature enough yet to be in pure joy, at least all of the time, in trials. However, I do see how being grateful for what God has given me can help me be more joyful in the suffering.